New Year's and That Guy.

This actually starts on New Year's Eve, and continues on into New Years day.   We purchased some little fireworks to light off, and invited the That Guy and his friends to come down and shoot some off if they wanted.   It's going pretty well until he drops a big 'ol firecracker into the building's compost bin.

Elena: The compost?  Really?

Phil: Yeah, maybe let's not do that...

That Guy: These things are super heat resistant it's fine.

Last time I checked the compost bin was made of regular plastic, so unless German plastic is radically different than any other plastic, I think it's safe to say that the bin was a poor choice to put a firecracker in.

Until he put one in our barbecue, no asking, no forewarning, just the metallic boom of our barbecue.   It's not really "ours" the previous tenant left it so I'm not mad.

All in all the night went pretty smoothly.

The next morning while Phil and I are enjoying the last day of vacation we get a knock on the door.

That Guy:  Oh man I am sooooo hungover, can I come in?

Phil: Sure yeah.

That Guy: Do you have any coffee?

Elena: Yeah do you want me to make you a cup?

That Guy:  No I got it.

He then makes himself a pot of coffee and then three eggs.

In my kitchen, like it's second nature.  I'm looking at my husband, he's shrugging so I guess this is okay, the oddest thing about it, is that he has houseguests at his own apartment and he is making himself breakfast in ours.

An hour or so later he finally leaves and Phil and I continue our day together.

6 hours later, another knock at the door.

That Guy:  Hey man it's me.

Phil lets him in because both Phil and I are painfully hospitable, I offer to warm him up some soup and instead he makes himself a few knackigs ( sort of sausage thing)  He doesn't hurt anything (mostly) and he is nice enough, but it's the second meal he's cooked in our kitchen for himself with our food.  No harm, no foul (mostly,  He melted the end of my sweet lettuce chopper, but we didn't discover this until later)

I start doing the dishes and after he finishes and comes into the kitchen.

That Guy: So where do you want this?

Elena: The counter is fine I'm already doing the dishes one more won't hurt

That Guy: Philly, you're such a lazy bastard how come you never help your wife?

Elena:  Because he goes to work and makes the money.

That Guy: I need to marry a girl like you.

Elena: Good Luck

Phil: Yup Girls like her are few and far between.

That Guy: Hey do you mind if I get comfortable?

Phil: Go ahead man.

That guy proceeds to take his shirt off and hang out in one of our wingback chairs.

(While Phil is using the restroom)

I look over at him and he is jiggling his pec.

That Guy: Hey you wanna feel 'em?

Elena:  Naw I'm good.

He continues to flex his chest and we put on Better Off Dead.  Every time the antagonist comes on screen and is snarky he tells us  " I would punch that guy in the teeth" or "Man all you gotta do is sucker punch and BOOM"   Every. Single. Time, that the character is on screen.

I do honestly feel bad for the guy though, he's obviously lonely and he must have low self esteem if he needs to vocally assert his masculinity that often.  So we will keep having him over and feeding him, if only to provide you with entertainment.

Trier

A little while ago we had the opportunity to go to the gorgeous city of Trier, and while driving on the Autobahn can sometimes be nerve-wracking, the scenery is always delightful.  Rolling hills covered with vineyards, red roofed villages dotting along the Rhine, a lot of the time we do drive through the country it feels a little like taking a step in the past, where skyscrapers aren't towering over you and suburbia doesn't exist.  Just quiet, beautiful country...I think that is why the transition has been so easy.

Anyways, back to Trier.

All though there is a Christmas Market, the real reason we wanted to see Trier, is that it's the oldest city in Germany, complete with Roman ruins.

This is "The Black Gate," note the bottom of the picture to see how small people are in comparison.  It's huge, it's magnificent, it's breathtaking.  I am used to being enamored with large natural wonders on account of being in Mount Rainier's backyard, but this building is so different from anything I've ever experienced in my life.  Aside from native petroglyphs, this is the oldest man-made structure I have ever seen...and it's quite possible that this building is much older than the petroglyphs at Ozette park.

The only funny thing about The Black Gate, is that it's across from a hotel and a car dealership in the center of town.

On an unrelated note, due to the popularity of my "Roommate Chronicles" I will be posting a new feature monthly, maybe every two weeks about "That Guy."  It's definitely going to be worth your time.

Image Ruined

Recently I've had a bit of an identity crisis being so far removed from everything associated with "me."   So I decided that I was going to do something about it.  Here, I'm pretty much judged entirely on my outward appearance, and I decided that I was going to shoot for something that was style that looks nice and is easily recognizable, but still "me."

Rockabilly...but more on the house wife side of the 50's 'cause I don't really want to dye my hair and I have no tattoos.

I cuffed my jeans, put on my green converse, had on my cute flannel print, I curled my hair and put on full make up, because my husband asked if I wanted to volunteer and help Santa at a kid's party.   I looked great and easy peasy it's a kids party, and I can totally hang with kids.

What my husband didn't tell me is that it was a kids Christmas party for the entire Squadron

Also I would be dressed as an Elf.

An Elf.

I'm the center of attention for the entire squadron and instead of noticing that I look nice...I'm dressed in an extra large ELF costume complete with jingle bells.

And this will probably be on the Spouse's Network, The Ramstein Facebook and Kaiserslautern America.
Shoot me.

At least I have more of an identity instead of "Phil's Wife" I'm "Phil's Wife...You know the Elf."

I'm going to try and redeem myself at the upcoming Christmas Party.

Identity.

     My mom would be proud of me.  I make the bed almost everyday, I clean the kitchen sometimes twice a day.  I cook all of our dinners, I sweep, swiffer, then mop a few times a week.   Our apartment is really quite clean.
     The apartment doesn't feel like it's mine though, but more importantly I don't feel like me.   I used to be super crafty, knows everything about Michael's, best babysitter Elena.   Now I am "Phil's Wife."   I love being married to my best friend especially when my best friend is friends with all my other friends, and vice versa...but here people only know me as "Phil's Wife."  I feel a little like I'm just playing pretend in someone else's house and that is why I hate the table and chairs and living room.
     I'm sure several newlyweds go through this, especially people in our situation where we both have been uprooted from our comfort zone and support system, it still feels like I'm a non-entity.

This is the living room, the chair, Phil's wife.

A Big Change

My husband and I have talked about it, and we have decided to switch over to the "Paleo" lifestyle.   It's sort of halfway weightlifter's diet, halfway raw food.   A big factor for me deciding to switch was my good friend * Randy.  He wasn't a fat guy just a little pudgy and he decided to make the dietary switch he recently posted pictures and the change is pretty significant.

I myself am I little pudgy, I have a muffin top... and the beginning of bingo wings.  And while I work out 4-5 days a week any nutritionist/dietitian will tell you that most of the way your body looks depends on your nutrition.

Also most diets or meal plans marketed to women suck.   Everything label "low-fat" tastes like garbage and I would rather get a canker sore than eat egg whites on a rye cracker.  No way, not once, not NEVER.

I'm excited because I feel like I'm not actually denying myself all that much and that once we finally make the full transition that I'm really going to start noticing a change in my body, not just the outside, but that I'm going to actually feel better.  I'll be sharing recipes that pass the Elena taste test because nobody wants to switch to a lifestyle with gross food.

* His name is changed to protect his privacy

Holy Granoly!

These granola bars are soft and chewy and the recipe offers a good base to try out different flavors.

Here is the original recipe from Taste of Home.

Ingredients

• 4 cups quick-cooking oats
• 1 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1-1/2 cups chopped walnuts 
• 1 cup flaked coconut
• 3/4 cup butter, melted
• 3/4 cup orange marmalade

Directions

• In a large bowl, combine the oats, brown sugar and salt. Stir in remaining ingredients. Press into a greased 15-in. x 10-in. x 1-in. baking pan. Bake at 425° for 15-17 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on a wire rack. Yield: about 2-1/2 dozen.

Nutritional Facts1 serving (1 each) equals 182 calories, 10 g fat (4 g saturated fat), 12 mg cholesterol, 141 mg sodium, 22 g carbohydrate, 1 g fiber, 3 g protein.

Originally published as Oatmeal Breakfast Bars in Quick Cooking January/February 2002, p15

Here are some of things we've tried to mix it up a little.

3/4ths cup of dried cranberries and a little cinnamon for a Christmas-y flavor.

Peanuts instead of walnuts, raspberry jam instead of marmalade and a healthy dose of mini chocolate chips.  

Here is what we will try next.

Apple chunks, honey, and cinnamon.

Dried blueberries, and maple syrup.

Dried blueberries and lemon curd.

Apricot and butterscotch.

If they come out too hard for your tastes, all is not lost...just crumble it and you've got yourself some tasty regular granola.

The 2nd Best Dip Ever.

Since I know some of you are crazy people who haven't set up Pinterest, I have taken it upon myself to share with you the 2nd* best dip I've ever had.

Ingredients:
1 8oz. brick of cream cheese
1 can of Ro-Tel tomatoes and chiles
1 can of canned white corn
Salt, pepper, and chili powder, to taste

If you like it spicy add half a serrano chile finely diced.

I made made mine on the stove.  Turn your burner to low and then add the cream cheese to a medium sauce pot.  While the cream cheese is melting drain both the corn and Ro-Tel and add on top, give it a good stir and then add your seasonings. Stir well and you're done.    Serve with Frito's Scoops**

* The actual best dip is Sausage Dip and I only get it once a year at Christmas.

** Unless you live in Germany, where the Commissary only sells Tostitos.

I'm thinking about adding some sausage and then serving it on a baked potato.  Or having the dip be my omelette filling.