Cuijk.

I'm pretty dang certain it's pronounced something similar to "cook"...but make a funny little "er" sound in the middle, sort of.  

The morning ( 4 a.m.) was beastly cold.   It snowed again the night before, and even though I barely slept, and I have a very difficult time sleeping on transportation...it was nice seeing the periwinkle and coral of the sunrise reflecting in all of the empty fields on the sides of the Autobahn.  I've been here for months now and I am still impressed by the amount of hawks I see.  I stopped counting somewhere around twenty.

The rest stops in Germany are phenomenal.  They have a convenience store, a cafeteria, a fast food restaurant and the NICEST public restrooms I've ever seen.   There is a catch though, there is a 70 euro cent toll to use the toilet but you are given a 50 euro cent coupon back to use on anything at the stop...you can collect them and stack them if you want too.

For your toll you get a magic robot that sanitizes the toilet seat at your request...it also does it automatically after you use it. The bathrooms are impeccably clean nice smelling, and they even thought of putting in a nice backsplash.  Good on you Deutschland.

The market itself is as big as four football fields and it has it's own food court and live entertainment.  It has everything you could possibly imagine.   Carved oak furniture, Tiffany lamps, Pre WWII dishes, crazy leggings, lingerie, licorice, flower bulbs, a truly impressive collection of stuff.   And I was lucky enough to find some treasures for me.

This was what caught my eye first, and I instantly thought of Twin Peaks, but it's a little too Victorian to fit in with either the Great Northern or my ideas of how to make our apartment cozy.   And they were asking 175 euro.

I did find this little guy for 35 euro, it pretty much made my week.  I went with church gals...who were looking for antiques or a good price on furniture to make-over...so I stuck out pretty bad, but what's new.

That's not even the best find.   I had passed by this stall a few time and it was filled with the coolest stuff. Top hats and straight razors, old medical stuff, opera glasses old war helmets and furs, and then there in the back of the shop on a rack with binoculars was a beautiful, perfect, brass and leather spyglass.  What kid hasn't wanted one of these to go on an adventure with, and now I have it, naturally to go on adventures with.

The Bluebird.

It's no secret that I am not a great photographer, so please forgive that.    This is my first watercolor in a long time, so forgive that too :)

     This is also my second animal painting, my first one was a unicorn behind Josh Groban on my bedroom wall, but that is beside the point.   All in all I like the was and the ghost-y effect of the branches, but the feathers got a little muddled and I am hesitant to do any more work on it because watercolor is super good at one strike you're out.  The more I look at it the more I notice it lacks depth, but I pretty much only had instruction in high school and not much practice at watercolor, but I think it will come in time.

     I also took all of my art of Facebook, which is silly because most people want to get their art out to the world.  I guess the older I am the more personal I'm becoming.   I can be a bit more personal about the art piece in a blog versus a little blip about on Facebook.  I don't do this for anyone else but me, and while I have done work for other people it has been for the most part free.  

     Our landlord dropped by last night and commented on it, he asked if it was a Kingfisher, I replied no that it was some sort of Bluejay, probably from the East Coast, and he replies in his accented English. " Wow. I hauf never seen one of deese birds."   Which got me thinking, that I could probably paint a picture of a Jackalope and convince him that we have them in the States in the Midwest somewhere.

     Lastly, I did this bluebird in part for, or inspired by my Dad...who I will always associate with Bluejays.

Creatures!

I'm not very good at caning just yet, but it's a part of polymer clay that I really enjoy, even if I'm sucky at it.   This is my turn out from the Donna Kato tutorial on Fire Mountain Gems.  I definitely should have chosen different colors and made the white bits smaller.  The smaller wing is from a separate cane, I tried it again with what I had left over, I rolled the one smaller slice into the pasta machine and shaped it a little more afterwards, I am much more satisfied with the smaller one. 

And this is my Mom's old crabby cat Roady.   I'll probably make it a magnet...or the creepiest cat lady necklace ever.

I'm in love with this one, I am not sure how I'm going to turn it into a pendant, but it's nautical and sparkly.   LOVE. I don't care how much I love Kung Fu and war history, glitter still beats them.  Always.

Finally I'm getting the hang of doing miniatures, I don't have the motor skills just yet to add detail to the smaller pieces with clay, so this little teeny guy is going to get a sweet paint job, and I even remembered to add a ring for using it as a pendant.

I had some leftover from the glitter nautilus, so I made a bunch of these leaves with head pins, and I'm going to try and make a necklace with most of the components being handmade, I think if I add enough glaze or translucent liquid sculpey, I'm  going to end up with a product that closely resembles dichroic glass (with out the price tag)

That's all for this week, I think I'm going to focus a bit more time into making jewelry...there is a Bazaar coming up and I want to try my luck.

That Guy Version 2.0

Somehow I lost my digital camera inside out apartment.   I had the memory card in a pocket, and somehow the camera has just vanished. So no Creature Features, or Shinies...just more about That Guy.

The good news is he has a roommate now so we aren't sought out nearly as much.

Here's the latest.
Since he has a new roommate he invited us up to meet him, he said the roommate would be home in 15 minutes so we should just come up.  20 minutes later we show up to the door which he answers shirtless...and continues to remain shirtless.

Now this is just my personal opinion...but I dislike it when people are shirtless.   There is no real reason to take off a shirt unless you're planning on swimming or sunbathing...if you're hot it makes more sense to leave your shirt on sweat a little more and then let the sweat cool you instead of exposing more skin to the heat and sun...And he knew people were coming over, and it's winter time in Germany.   His girlfriend calls and the roommate still hasn't shown up so while he is on the phone Phil and I decide to get out while we still could.

That Guy:  Hang on babe,  Hey man I'll catch you later.

Phil: Sure thing

That Guy:  Yeah Phil came up to hang out.

I'm not upset, but it does prove my theory that he views me as a non-entity unless my husband is not present

 I'm going out to drop off the compost and he is on the balcony.

That Guy: Hey you wanna come up for some rice?  Or get some lunch or something?

Elena: I don't eat rice anymore I'm okay...thanks though.

That Guy: WTF Why don't you eat rice?

Elena: Paleo...no grains, rice is a grain,

That Guy: Rice isn't a grain...it's rice, I'm on the Paleo diet too, I know what I'm talking about.

Elena: I have to go back inside the stove is on.

Now this part I don't want you to think that I'm some terrible judgmental hag, I prefer more of a Sherlock Holmes approach what can I learn about the new roommate based on what I see...and what I see is his car.

For most service members you know what base you are moving too 6-9 months or so in advance, excluding first base moves out of tech school, but we still had a few months to prepare, do research you know important stuff.  Part of that important stuff is an Anti Terrorism briefing, mostly giving tips on how to not be a target.  Don't wear clothes with English writing, don't put up your name outside your house...just try and blend in with the locals.   That Guy's roommate did not get the memo, because he drives a jeep.  This is no ordinary Jeep, first off it's pretty big, and if you do any research on Europe their roads are windy and narrow so a more compact car is a better choice.  It's also Germany...it gets really really cold here, more importantly while mild and beautiful it doesn't get above 85 like ever, not really Jeep weather.  He also has giant ...I mean GIANT Jurassic Park logos on either side of his Jeep along with windshield decal that reads "Take your top off"...and a little fixture around his headlights that turn his round Jeep headlights into what looks like glaring eyes.

 But he's probably a really nice guy.

I'm not saying he is a bad guy...but maybe subconsciously I don't hang out with people who decorate their car with more than one bumper sticker or rear-view mirror dangly.   When I was in high-school I had a friend who was dating a guy who had pimped out a Daewoo.   No lie, a Daewoo...he added a fin to the back( 'cause I'm sure he street raced in South Hill) and had it airbrushed.  Maybe it's because I've always bought cars purely as transportation, and any money I threw into them was for repairs.   I've just never seen a reason to make a fairly regular car a statement to other drivers and/or policemen.

The only thing that bothers me is he parks right in front of the building  (we're on the ground floor) so it looks like we have the Jeep.

S'more That Guy

First off he drops by and is chatting Phil up, here is the conversation he had with me.

That Guy: You're a *Depend-a-saurus.

Elena: There is no way I am a *Depend-a-pottamus, I go to the gym and I home-cook all of our meals.

That Guy: I didn't say Depend-a-pottamus,  you're a Depend-a-saurus Rex.

Elena: I think you mean Awesome-a-saurus.

That Guy: Well, later bro I gotta go get cleaned up.

I'm pretty sure he only hates my guts because I am a female that has no desire to sleep with him...or it could be conversations like the one below.

He came over because he wanted some womanly advice from his woman who is a recent divorcee, not that there is anything wrong with previously married people but it's probably a good idea to not expect an outstanding amount of commitment from someone so recently severed.

That Guy: It's * Allison, I just can't do anything right she keeps saying crap like "Ugh You're just like my ex-husband." and I'm trying...but she won't talk to me about it and I can't fix it.

Elena: Well she can't keep blaming you for things that you didn't do, you aren't her ex husband.

That Guy: But she can, she put up with so much abuse...

Elena:  If he was so abusive, I'm pretty sure any likeness to her ex-husband would probably make her leave, and women who are abused physically or other wise don't usually get into relationships right after their divorced.

That Guy:  Hey, is your husband going to mind that I'm over here and we're alone?

Elena: I already texted him that you are here, so I'm pretty sure he's okay with it.

That Guy:  It's just I'm trying and I do everything she wants...but she's leaving in May and I know she doesn't want to get married so...

Elena:  I think you know the answer to that question, and I'm pretty sure you are well aware that she isn't really emotionally invested in your relationship.

That Guy:  So do you go tanning?

Elena:  No, I got a really severe burn last year, and I finally getting my skin back to normal with coconut oil.

That Guy: Coconut oil, did you know they use coconut oil for blood transfusions?

Elena: Hmm, I thought it was coconut water as emergency IV fluid.

That Guy:  Well coconut oil is water soluble, which means it can be absorbed through the blood stream.

Elena: Weird, I thought water soluble meant dissolve-able or mixable with water.

That Guy: Well, I'm gonna go to the gym.

A little fact about me first...I love, I mean LOVE correcting people's "fact's"...Like I read blogs and articles online I will check their references, the only thing I really read/watch and take it as fact is National Geographic.  So most of my conversations with That Guy are blissful, the snarky jerk inside of me does a little happy dance.  I read three newspapers, a left one, a right one and one that I enjoy the most because it seems to stick to pure reporting instead of appealing to either side.

He mentioned going on a paleo diet, and then asked to borrow butter for his rice.

Paleo is no grains, no dairy...so he seems to be doing really well with his new eating plan.

He stopped by again to complain that his girlfriend isn't having sex with him and how he's SOOOO horny and he just wants to have some sex...Awkward.  I only talk about my sex life with my best friend, and it's super not in front of anyone.  I mean it's bad enough when we hear it...I don't want to talk about it either.

Today he dropped by to ask Phil to the gym, and our rest days are Sunday and Monday, to which he responded that Phil is a faggot and needs to work out.  Classy.

He then goes on to say how he has sex like a bedbug...where his penis will just go for anything (gross)  I said if were going to be an animal I would be a barnacle because they have the longest penis to body ratio.

That Guy: Did you know when a wave comes up they use their penis to hold down the other barnacles, 'cause they only have one appendage?

See, what That Guy doesn't know about me is that I really do read National Geographic...and my favorite channel growing up was PBS, with my favorite show being "Nature"

Barnacles do have a long penis, and two "arms" which they use to feed, they also have an eye and cement glands that serve to anchor them to their surface.

After our barnacle conversation he mentioned his Paleo diet again and then proceeded to lift up his shirt and put his abs on display for my husband, I tend to leave the room during his random acts of partial nudity...it's not because I'm offended, but he is obviously peacocking to seek approval, which I refuse to give him.

Sorry it was soooooooo long but I hope it was worth the read and you found some humor in it.

* Depend-a-saurus: Is a dependent who calls all of the shots in the marriage, it can be likened to a "Wife wearing the pants"
* Depend-a-pottamus: Is a dependent who doesn't do anything.
*Allison is not her name.

Creature Feature and Shinies!

Oh my stars.   A water horse.   I would have posted creatures from last week, but they all met their demise, I wasn't satisfied with any of them, they were hideous.    This little guy is different than my usually I tried to emulate more of Becca Golins' style with the clay eyes and hand painting more of the details versus Christ Freisen who does most of the details either out of clay or with a texture...I am more confident with a paint brush and I think for my first go of it it turned out pretty dang cute. You can see much more of Becca's amazing work here.

 http://dragonsandbeasties.deviantart.com/

Her gallery is totally worth your time to peek at.

I made a little forest wyrm...but I so of hate it and it needs more paint, so you'll see it next week, if it doesn't end up in the garbage.

And now for Shinies!

Betsy Johnson inspired.  I love her jewelry...but I don't buy jewelry unless it's from Longship Trade Goods usually.   The pendant is from the "Buds and Blooms" collection from Blue Moon Beads*  , the chain is from Beadalon and the red beads are glazed ceramic from "The Bead Gallery" by Halcraft.  All products were purchased at Michaels.

With my camera, lighting and knowledge of photography, I can't seem to get a clear shot of the abalone...but it's gorgeous. I've always loved abalone and how the colors swirl and stand out so much against the black.  Okay I don't love it enough to get an anklet with dolphins, but it's still really eye catching...even more so against black.  Both the pendant and the beads are all "The Bead Gallery" and also purchased at Michaels.

So much work, but so work it.  I want to do a whole Greek Goddess set, with this one being Artemis.   Czech glass beads and seed beads from Shipwreck Beads.  Oh how I miss that place.   The pattern came from the Jan  issue of Bead and Button magazine, I halfway want to try it with pearls  to make something really showy.  

Happy Marriage Ritual.

Before I get this thing started, Phil and I are stupid compatible, like Disney couples don't have anything on us...Maybe Ariel and Eric...maybe.  I know not every relationship is like ours, but that doesn't mean it can't be.  

Morning time.   He wakes up really early and as dedicated of a housewife as I try to be.  5 am breakfast isn't happening. ( He still gets a homemade breakfast usually made the night before.)  10-15 minutes before he leaves he comes back to bed and snuggles me, I admit I am mostly asleep but before he leaves the house he tells me he loves me and I am usually awake enough to give him a hug or put a hand on his face ( That is "pug" for I love you)

We have a mostly set schedule he comes home, we go to the gym, we come home, we shower.

Lotion time.  Phil and I both have stretch marks from gained weight during our teens and needless to say we hate them, so during our shower we do a mini scrub learned from the Korean ladies at the Olympus spa and after drying off we rub lotion on each other (it's now coconut oil, 'cause my order finally came in) it's non sexual (mostly, we ARE still newlyweds) but for the most part it's just a loving touch for each of us towards the end of our day, but it is everyday.  

Show time.  A half hour to an hour before bed we watch a show together on his half of the bed, because his half is warmer, a nice relaxing time with my partner before we have to part ways for a little while.

I'm not a marriage counselor, and Phil and I have been married for less than a year, but I firmly believe that the way we do things is what makes it so we never fight and always have time for each other.