Our Temporary German Toilet

So far there has been too much to adapt to in our temporary living space except the bathroom most notably the vastly inconvenient door attachment but more on that later.

First there is the toilet.

That large grey rectangle above the toilet is the flusher.  You push down for flush and up to cancel your flush...I think.  I can't imagine what good it would do because this is what the flush looks like.

It also sounds like a jet engine.

And then there is the shower tub combo.  The tub is really nice, the faucet lies in the middle of the tub so which ever end you prefer to have your head at is comfortable, the tub is also very deep but there is no shower curtain.  Instead there is a four pane fold out glass door, by yourself it's not so bad but if you are sharing your shower with your husband who gets in first and closes the panes you have to fold in a pane get one foot in ( because the tub portion is actually more like a step up and in) and then sneak around the pane as you fold it out again.  

I tried getting both feet in and then unfolding only succeeding in hitting myself in the head with said pane.  It's also super important to remember that you had to step up to get into the shower, and likewise you must step down to get out.  

My experience with the Germans

Today was started out incredibly rough.  I was lonely, and crabby.  I woke up at two.  Bleh.   Around 7 I was able to Skype a bestie back home and get the new dish on some good drama, which was great.     The housekeepers came and I finally got a hold of my sponsor's wife Michelle to get a ride to the commissary.   My husband was home when I got there and I still was in a funk.   Now one tells you how stressful it is to move to another country, much more when the military is in charge.  I mean I'm sure I'll get used to it the more we do it... but for now it has been sucky.  

I found an apartment, around the middle of September and I emailed the guy letting him know when we land and that we are very interested in his apartment.   He told us to call when we got in, which we did and we played a little phone tag until Phil gave him a call and he volunteered to pick us up in his car and take us to the property.   He took us to the property and told us stories about his family while showing us room by room and telling us what he will personally take care of.

We started talking meat and potatoes about the rental and we offered to draw up a contract tomorrow, but instead of settling with tomorrow he invited us to his house for cake while he did the paperwork.   Turns out it was his wife's 63rd birthday and there was a small dinner party. He introduced to everyone and the sat us down and first gave us an angel food cake layered with cream and then topped with raspberries and gelatin.  We were offered coffee and someone piped in that while it was coffee it was "snipped" or "castrated" on account of it being decaf.   And the whole table erupted in loud laughter. The whipcream brand at the table was called "Milfina" and I tried to explain to a guest named Heinz why it was funny...he chuckled and explained to the other guests, who also chuckled. Peter (the landlord) offered us a slice of cheesecake and continued to give us tips about traveling in the country and good places to eat.  He offered to give us the key ahead of time with out us evening signing the final contract or filling out any application. He even told us not to worry abut the security deposit right away.  And then he gave be his umbrella to borrow and showed us a super short cut back to back to base.  Also it turns out he is a local senator and the manager of a minor league soccer team.  

So far every German I have encountered has been sweet, very polite and incredibly helpful.   Also .the Germans are super funny.   I'm super glad we met Peter the most hospitable and relaxed landlord EVER.  

Well, we're here now.

I haven't had my culture shock yet, largely in part because the German landscape her looks very similar  to lots of places in Washington.   Our temporary living quarters are very nice...even though a bit further off base than we would have liked, but it doesn't really matter because our sponsor and his family are eager to help us.   Hearing ravens instead of crows is unusual but other than that I think Germany and I will get along just fine.

The version of MTV in our hotel is all about the 90's.   First thing I saw was Jamiroquai and then En Vogue.   and I've been watching German reality shows because they sometimes show grocery stores and I try to write down the approximate price of everything I see in the background.

So far everything I've heard in English has been recording in the UK which makes me feel a little bit fancy.  

Jet lag is not my favorite.

Flight 1 and 2

I never sleep.   That's a lie. I do sleep, but most of the time there is some sort of chemical assistant.   I'm just an anxiousasaurus, and the thought of having my stuff moved my other people and me not being there.   So my my last day in WA I paced and I micromanaged and I panic attacked, and I went a little OCD and mini baggied my ENTIRE bead collection to fit them in my suitcase.   Like close to half my weight limit on one suitcase was beads.  

Here is my rationalization:   I have already parted with a lot of my belongings before and all my wedding presents have stayed in their boxes, so there is no emotional connection to the stuff. But my beads.   I hand picked all of them. I've touched all of them and spent hours dreaming what to do with them.  Also I felt like Smaug when I had all of the baggies of them.

Anyways, I was running on adrenaline.   Our flight was at 12:55 am. We got there early just the way I like it but both Phil and I are super running on empty, like the kind of tired where everything is pants poopingly funny and your volume control is kind of off.   My husband and I are masters at entertaining each other and what a better place than an airport full of people.  There was this gal in running gear ( Which is totally dumb...nobody works out in the airport at 11 at night) with bleach blonde hair and a fake tan and full make up (another thing people never wear when they work out you're not fooling anyone!) She was walking around with bitter beer face and then she had to spray herself with body spray.  Super rude. She decides she needs to sit next to Phil.  Which is cool I know my husbands is a total babe, but then she has to get on her phone.  Which happens to be the set up for one of my favorite games, where I pretend I'm the voice on the other end of the phone, but because I'm sitting next to my husband it looks and sounds like I'm talking to him.  So funny.

   A nice full flight, but we got the very back of the plane...which is the best spot 'cause it's next to the bathroom and you get a drink first.  Phil has the aisle I have the middle and then we have a tiny gal on the window.  The flight was ok, but the tiny gal had taken her shoes off...and kept tucking her toes under my thigh, and then because she was passed out she completely disregarded the armrest barrier. But it was a red eye flight so no biggie.

As soon as we got off in Minnesota we get back on a flight headed to Baltimore.
I passed out.
Couldn't keep my eyes open.

We got a hotel at the airport, but the shuttle driver passed us twice...the second time he made eye contact at pointed at the curb, and then drove off.  The hotel gave us free breakfast and let us check in at about 11 instead of the normal 3.  

All in all though it's probably the most relaxed I've been while traveling.  Except when I called my mom she told me that Frank cried.  Like literal doggie tears.  Man.

Almost Awkward.

Warning: This post deals with nudity.

Yesterday I was able to go to the Korean Women's Spa in Tacoma with one of my besties.  For those of you who don't know the Spa is a bathhouse that offers wonderful spa treatments.   Clothes are not an option. You get your pink shower cap, and a little cotton robe to sit in the hot rooms with, other than that you're just kind of hanging on out.

The bath house portion has a large very hot pool, a medium hot pool, a super cold pool with a waterfall and two much smaller lukewarm pools.  My friend and I were at the back end of one of the smaller pools which has a capacity of four people. She and I were facing each other so we could talk.  The pool is just wide enough for me to have my back against one wall, and my feet flat on the other wall, and I'm probably between a 28 and 30 inch inseam.

For the most part she and I are more interested in our conversation than what is going on around us.  I mean we are still sneaking peeks at the other patrons but for the most part just talking.  There were some other ladies in the pool with us, and she and I decided to leave and do something else.   Now we were sitting in the back of the pool and it's narrow anyways so both ladies stood to give us room to leave.  

But.

There was a problem.  These ladies were significantly more rotund than my friend and I so a facing forward approach to the stairs was not going to work.  I turned to do a little side step maneuver, and the gravity of the situation hit me.

I tried not to giggle while my friend followed suit and followed me into the next pool.

"Elena what is so funny?"

"Oh man...How terrible would it have been if I brushed boobies with that gal..."

Of course a giggle fit ensued but the spa was busy so one noticed.

9.7.12

I dunno if every military wife goes through this but PCS'ing or permanent change of station...ing is super not my favorite.   Moving is no big deal, I mean it sucks but I think in the last five or six years I've moved eight times.  Throw my stuff in boxes and then drive to the next place, unload and unpack and done.

Unless the military moves you.   Our circumstance is probably pretty different from a lot of folks in the service.  I live with my parents and so my whole former apartment is in one room with wedding gifts and larger art supplies in the storage space.   Having most of an apartment ( especially an artist/crafter's) in one room isn't ideal anyway, but I have a tendency to always be crafting, so my supplies are more stashed than anything else.

But other people will be moving me and touching my glue gun and ATG gun and my beads and my markers and my sketchbooks...thinking about it seriously churns my stomach.  However, I've read a bunch of advice from many many ladies who have gone a head of me and they all say that you can't document your stuff enough.  The kitchen was easy. Plates.  New in the box.  Mixer. New in the box...yadda yadda.  

I've counted and listed every marker and colored pencil.  I'm listing every brand and color and type of paint. And with my bead hoard (years of collecting) I've numbered each box and I'm in the process of counting and  giving a description of each bead within the box, and this is after I have taken a picture of the box with the number and the content of each bead box.  Disgusting.  

In other news, looking at German apartments is nigh unto porn.  Every apartment has really a nice bathroom and a huge tub... and they all have these amazing little details, like the painted over hearth from a century ago, hard wood floors that meet beautiful free form rock tile in the kitchen.

So Excite!

My First Craft Post.

Summer is wonderful, but Fall is where it's at.   More specifically Halloween, I like having an excuse to bear my macabre side a bit more than usual.   And because I couldn't wait to get started on my crafting this year I give you the Halloween Ribbon Hanging.

Materials:
A yard long wooden dowel
Ribbon in different patterns and widths.  I used five different types of ribbon in all different patterns
Scissors
A hot glue gun
Something to cap off your dowel ends, I used paper mache skulls
Acrylic craft paint

I painted my skulls first.  I used a blend of 1 part gold to 4 parts cream.

While the dried I cut my ribbon in different lengths and with no set pattern, I found that it's best if there is not more than a three inch difference between ribbon lengths.  After your ribbon is cut go ahead and glue the top of your ribbon to the dowel, I started at the edge of my ribbon and continued adding dots of glue until it's almost all the way around the dowel.

After your ribbon is on the dowel and the glue is cooled  go ahead and dovetail the ends of your ribbon.

To Dovetail:  Pinch the ribbon perfectly in half in your left hand.  Have your ribbon edges pointing down and with the scissors in your right hand cut and cut at an angle and to the left.  Some people prefer a more extreme angle, but it really comes down to what you like.

I then covered my skulls with Martha Stewart glitter paint, I like the Martha Stewart brand over other brands because the glitter is really fine and there is a slight tint to the base paint, and the base paint has a nice thickness to it.  I did a total of four coats and then with my trusty hot glue gun I glued the skulls on just behind the jaw.   I'm not sure if 'm gonna hang it just on the wall or over a door, but it turned out super spooky.   I also think I'm going to do one of these for every holiday I decorate for.