New Year's and That Guy.

This actually starts on New Year's Eve, and continues on into New Years day.   We purchased some little fireworks to light off, and invited the That Guy and his friends to come down and shoot some off if they wanted.   It's going pretty well until he drops a big 'ol firecracker into the building's compost bin.

Elena: The compost?  Really?

Phil: Yeah, maybe let's not do that...

That Guy: These things are super heat resistant it's fine.

Last time I checked the compost bin was made of regular plastic, so unless German plastic is radically different than any other plastic, I think it's safe to say that the bin was a poor choice to put a firecracker in.

Until he put one in our barbecue, no asking, no forewarning, just the metallic boom of our barbecue.   It's not really "ours" the previous tenant left it so I'm not mad.

All in all the night went pretty smoothly.

The next morning while Phil and I are enjoying the last day of vacation we get a knock on the door.

That Guy:  Oh man I am sooooo hungover, can I come in?

Phil: Sure yeah.

That Guy: Do you have any coffee?

Elena: Yeah do you want me to make you a cup?

That Guy:  No I got it.

He then makes himself a pot of coffee and then three eggs.

In my kitchen, like it's second nature.  I'm looking at my husband, he's shrugging so I guess this is okay, the oddest thing about it, is that he has houseguests at his own apartment and he is making himself breakfast in ours.

An hour or so later he finally leaves and Phil and I continue our day together.

6 hours later, another knock at the door.

That Guy:  Hey man it's me.

Phil lets him in because both Phil and I are painfully hospitable, I offer to warm him up some soup and instead he makes himself a few knackigs ( sort of sausage thing)  He doesn't hurt anything (mostly) and he is nice enough, but it's the second meal he's cooked in our kitchen for himself with our food.  No harm, no foul (mostly,  He melted the end of my sweet lettuce chopper, but we didn't discover this until later)

I start doing the dishes and after he finishes and comes into the kitchen.

That Guy: So where do you want this?

Elena: The counter is fine I'm already doing the dishes one more won't hurt

That Guy: Philly, you're such a lazy bastard how come you never help your wife?

Elena:  Because he goes to work and makes the money.

That Guy: I need to marry a girl like you.

Elena: Good Luck

Phil: Yup Girls like her are few and far between.

That Guy: Hey do you mind if I get comfortable?

Phil: Go ahead man.

That guy proceeds to take his shirt off and hang out in one of our wingback chairs.

(While Phil is using the restroom)

I look over at him and he is jiggling his pec.

That Guy: Hey you wanna feel 'em?

Elena:  Naw I'm good.

He continues to flex his chest and we put on Better Off Dead.  Every time the antagonist comes on screen and is snarky he tells us  " I would punch that guy in the teeth" or "Man all you gotta do is sucker punch and BOOM"   Every. Single. Time, that the character is on screen.

I do honestly feel bad for the guy though, he's obviously lonely and he must have low self esteem if he needs to vocally assert his masculinity that often.  So we will keep having him over and feeding him, if only to provide you with entertainment.