Adventures in Anxiety Pt.8 and The Conclusion.

Leaving the hotel was a little bit rough, mostly because there is a herd of kids who don't quite get why I'm so anxious to get home, but the breakfast was good and all in all we left without tooooooo much drama and I was all to happy to get out of SLC and on the road home.

I told Mckenna that I would give her 20 dollars if she stayed quiet for two hours.   Both Cathleen and I didn't tell her when her time was up. Northern Utah and Southern Idaho were still super boring...until we went through my first dust storm, it was extra special because it actually started to rain on top of the dust, pouring down mud on the car.   All in all though we made pretty good time to Boise so I felt that much closer  to home.   

Cathleen super needed a power nap from the drive, and I super needed a time out from the children, so I decided to take a quick shower when I got out of the shower Landon was scream-crying and the girls were trying their best to get him to behave  which usually means yelling at him, I can't blame them they are 10 and 8. However, I was super over it so with my hair wet and in my towel I poke my head out, and in my scariest nanny voice " IF BRANDON SCREAMS AGAIN ALL OF YOU WILL GO TO THE CORNER THERE WILL BE NO SCREAMING IN THIS HOUSE!"

Instant Silence.

I got to spend time with my cousin Julie and my cousin Jody....I hadn't seen Jody for almost 7 years.   All my   second cousins are turning into little grown ups and Liam the chubby adorable baby is a skinny but wickedly flirtatious nine year old.  Anina and Brenna are darling.   And I even got to see and get made fun of by Abe.   It was a nice way to end out my Boise visit.

                                                 THE LAST DAY OF THE ROAD TRIP

I woke up at 6:30...because I'm so excited to get home. So excited.  Uncle Tony is making waffles with strawberry jam Yum!  Landon does not want to eat his waffles, because the jam is on wrong.   Since I am a little OCD I clearly see how the jam is on wrong.  All of the waffle squares aren't filled.   Landon has superb taste...because everyone knows a waffle is gross if there is not strawberry jam in ever single square pocket.  ever since I was a kid I remember meticulously filling every square,  only then was it safe and tasty to eat.   So far so good, we get on the road right when we want to had a slip up with the directions which only costed us maybe 15 minutes and we were good to go.  

No traffic was happening, just the boring landscape to keep us company.  Cathleen asked if I had ever gone sparking.  Sparking is where you take wint o green life savers and chew them in the dark and you see sparks.   Cathleen tried to show me this, while I am the driver...and because I'm bored out of my skull I'm trying to look over. I tell her. "Cathleen  nothing bad could come out of these because I'm totally trying to drive a mini van full of someone elses kids at 80 miles and hour and trying to watch your lifesavers...we are super safe"   A giggle fit ensued.   We stop for drive through lunch and we are still making excellent time.   I see a license plate that I recognize so I honk honk honk, it was the lady I formerly stayed with and her kids coming back from their vacation in McCall but they had a funeral to go to in Boise and we were lucky enough to leave and be driving at the same ish time.

Still driving a long this are still going well Landon hasn't screamed once in the car like an angel.  Then we hear a loud pop and then car starts to shudder, I think it's a tire so I pull off and turn the hazards on, but the engine light is on and after we get out and check...all of the tires are fine.   I'm starting to panic a little but trying to keep my cool 'cause a guy pulled off the side of the road and was looking at the engine.   And then he pulled out a giant metal thing and a llittle metal and plastic bit, I totally lost my cool. I was up to my limit.

But Rebecca had seen us stop and called to see if we were ok and had enough room to take me and two other kids.  I took that offer almsot as soon as she said it, I did feel bad for leaving Cathleen but she has six kids that are all high stress and she is nigh unto zen, while I was diagnosed a few years ago with general anxiety disorder and I was shaking and hyperventilating a bit.    I was at my breaking point, and I'm thinking Landon would have had a meltdown being cooped up in an auto shop

Rebecca snagged me and the boys and the tow truck snagged Cathleen and the girls and everything seemed good, except I had a little trouble with forming sentences , and driving.   Finally everybody got home and safe, but I'm still very disoriented and off balance and really basic tasks are difficult. I figure I just tired and I go to bed.   

I woke up today still feeling very very out of it but I did manage to shower and get dressed and sit through church.  Landon sat with me for a while.  Cutie bug.   I talked to my parents about my symptoms and the consensus was that I was exhibiting body stress response.   Go figure.

I did learn a lot on this trip, about myself about special needs kids.  Would I do it again?  Hell no.  Am I talking with the kids about different things they wanna do one on one with me.  Absolutely.